Once again, I am reflecting on this frank teaching, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Mk. 8:34) Jesus’ statement is embellished in both Matthew and Luke (Mt. 16:34; Lk. 9:23). In each gospel, this statement is followed by the teaching that those who want to save their life will lose it and those who lose their life for Jesus’ sake will save it. Both Matthew and Luke iterate this teaching ( Mt. 10:38; Lk. 14:27), perhaps to emphasize the cost of discipleship. As John emphasized in his gospel, Jesus wanted a relationship with each of us — a relationship that would transform us to live near the kingdom of God. (see also Paul in Romans 12:2). It’s up to us to choose.
So, what does all this really mean in the daily lives of middle class Americans? One ubiquitous idiom in our culture is the phrase “cross to bear”, relating to some personal burden one must carry in life. Are we to live lives of guilt for the sins of our ancestors as some would argue? I don’t think so. Christ wished for us an abundant life. Are we to deny our blessings in search of suffering, “knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint….” (Ro. 5: 3-5)? Many Christians go in search of a cross to bear in service to God, but I have difficultly accepting this as an aspiration in life. Am I then destined to eternity in hell because there seems to be no cross at hand to take up? Maybe. Jesus did say the pathway to heaven for a rich man would be like a camel passing through the eye of a needle. But Jesus also said that what is impossible for mortals is possible for God. (See Lk. 18: 25-27)
I know that tens of millions of people carry daily the cross of want, pain, persecution and tyranny, thankful for the promise, through faith, of an eternal blessing when this mortal life ends. I have been blessed to live in middle class America where I am not persecuted (yet) for my faith, as were the early disciples who followed Jesus. Nor do I suffer poverty or oppression. Where is my cross to take up? True, I am expected to remain silent in the public square where my morals are seen as strangely antiquated and uncivilized. If I were to speak up, I would be perceived intolerant of the behavior or lifestyle of others. But this can’t be my cross because after all, we are to love our neighbor. I am now confused and more than a little lost. Where is the cross that I can take up?
For many years I felt that the only cross I had to bear was acceptance of loss, failure, misfortune and the vagaries of mortal life. I felt blessed. And of course, I did my part for my community. But I concentrated on my work, such that an understanding of this blunt teaching eluded me until recently in my old age. I now see the cross I am to take up. It is right there in plain sight and has been there all along; not on my back or lying on the ground, but right there on my neighbor’s back, weighing her down as a single mother raising young children. Or see the man over there raising his autistic child who does not speak; or the young parking lot attendant who can’t afford college, or the barista with the same yen. Crosses to bear abound. The landscape is littered with them, even in America. Maybe what Jesus is saying to me is to follow Him by taking up as many crosses as I can bear….a challenge I will certainly fall well short in meeting.
In reflection then, I can only trust in God’s mercy, knowing that all things are possible for God. Thanks be to God.